Once My Dreams Sang
by cathat77
Summary: Charles/Erik, a sequel of sorts to Smother the Soul, regarding the lives of Charles, Erik, Raven, and Moira in the aftermath of finding Charles.


**Title:**Once My Dreams Sang

**Author:**cathat77

**Rating:**PG-13

**Word Count:**856

**Characters:**mentioned Charles/Erik, Charles, Erik, Raven, Moira

**Summary:**Charles/Erik, the aftermath of discovering Charles

**Warnings:**nothing, mentioned sexual behavior

**Disclaimer:**In no way, shape, or form does X-Men First Class belong to this author. X-Men First Class is the property of Marvel, and this author is merely borrowing from the Marvel Universe.

"Am I a mindless fool? My life is a fragment, a disconnected dream that has no continuity. I am so tired of senselessness. I am tired of the music that my feelings sing, the dream music."  
>— Ross David Burke (When the Music's Over)<p>

**i.**

He walked his fingers over the palm of my hand.

"How do I even know you're real?" Charles looked at me, past me. I don't know how to convince him of my existence, of any of ours.

Charles frowns, clearly reading my thoughts. "See, you're simply a figment of my imagination. I can hear your thoughts. And, that's just insane. Humans cannot read each others' minds."

"Charles, you're touching me right now." Charles only shot me a look of disdain.

"I can simulate your body in my mind. Humans can have total control of their minds if they so wish."

"Charles…" I sigh. He lightly drags his nails on my palm.

"Erik, I wish you were real, but…you're not. I find myself…often wishing this existence were real. Reality is…unpleasant."

I think to myself _How could I ever hate you for your powers when they do this to you? _

"Erik, thank you, for believing in my delusions of grandeur. But, it is simply time for you to go. The doctors are right. I can move past this." Charles carefully places his hand on his chest and looks away.

He doesn't look back.

**ii.**

Erik sometimes wakes in the middle of the night. The darkness is overwhelming. He dreams of the small bare room they found Charles.

Thin and bare, Charles barely recognized their presence. He shivered as if their presence was simply a draft in the room.

Erik had lifted Charles gingerly off the bed, untangling the myriad of wires attached to his overly-thin body. Raven hovered behind him, gazing at her brother in some emotion akin to horror, grief, irrepressible sadness. Charles made this horrible wheezing sound, and Raven felt the tears stinging her eyes.

Plunging the scalpels and syringes he found along the way into the throats of the doctors and nurses along the way out had never felt so satisfying.

**iii.**

I sit in the room with him as often as anyone does, maybe more so. I shift into familiar forms: blond and peachy, red-headed and blue, brunette with green eyes, but none of them spark his recognition.

I miss Charles.

I miss his teasing. I miss the light in his eyes. I miss his laughter. I miss his idiotic _boy_ thinking. I miss everything.

And, I think…_Maybe_ if I hadn't left, this would never have happened. I would have been there.

I know Erik misses him too.

Erik visits the least out of all of us. I think he remembers how Charles was _before,_ compares the two_._ I've never told anyone, but…I spied on them once.

Charles was resting on Erik, chest-to-chest, shoulder-to-hip laying on him like a blanket on a bed. Erik's hand was on Charles's back, and Charles dipped down just a bit, pecked him lightly on the lips, on the cheek, up his jaw, behind his ear.

Charles blew on that ear lightly, and Erik shivered.

I knew then that I had trespassed on this moment. But, I'd do it over again just to see their love.

**iv.**

Moira had worked tirelessly with Hank when Charles had disappeared. She was a CIA agent, _damn it_, and just because she was a woman didn't mean that she was helpless, stupid or any of that other bullshit.

Finding Charles felt like triumph until they brought him back a living corpse.

The CIA doesn't train you to see someone you care for a broken mess. They tell you to suppress everything _emotional_.

Moira waits, plays the calm and patient one. She only takes one coffee break, talking to Hank who grieves the loss of a brilliant mind, to Sean who grieves the loss of a surrogate father, to Alex who grieves for something he can't even name. It isn't until late that night that she takes to her room, slides down the door onto some plush old carpet, and feels the tears on her cheeks drip onto her chest.

Her body shakes with her sobs, and she isn't even aware that someone's holding her until she feels the hand in her hair. Raven's blue hand wipes away her tears.

They don't need words. They both understand.

* * *

><p><strong>Outtake<strong>

**i. **

When they find Charles, he is thin. He is skeletally thin. Erik has seen men and women and children like this before, but Charles…makes his very soul hurt. Charles's fingers are curled around the IVs, which pump saline and D5W and who knows what else into his body.

His eyes are open, gummy from tears. His eyes set sight on Raven, and then on Erik, he wheezes. They don't know why. He glances at Erik.

When they finally get Charles out of the room, he is so light; Erik is afraid that he will crush him in my hands.

Erik imagined this moment, and nothing is as it seems. Charles does not rejoice at their sight. He cannot run to their arms.

The most Charles can do now is lay there as quietly as he can. If he's a good boy, Erik will stay with him this time. Last time, he tried to talk, and Erik left.

It's nice that he brought Raven with him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **This is probably not what you were expecting for a "sequel" of sorts to Smother the Soul, but it's what felt the most appropriate to me. I included the outtake, as it was the original part of Under Lock and Key, which I felt was...not good. It gives more info about how Charles looked when Raven and Erik found him.

A couple of things: I decided to write Raven's and Moira's points of view because I really like their characters. I think they're strong women who could be great friends if they opened up to each other. I think they're both really kick ass.

To any of my readers affected by the riots in the UK: I hope you're okay. I've been worrying sick over friends and family over there, which is why I haven't been writing. In any case, please stay safe. To any of the Riot Wombles and similar clean-up groups, I hope you're okay as well, and I think it's admirable what you're doing.


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